Magdalena Kmiecik & Agatha Wrońska, Hill, 2010. C-print.
Some names have been changed, because stuff that’s mean when you’re a kid is still kinda mean!
1997: Pikeville, Ky
“there’s this girl, Amanda Young. She follows us everywhere (esp. me) & always bosses us & tries to get us to go everywhere with her. Monica is always wispering things like, “I think we should start ignoring Amanda” At first, I agreed but right now I sort of feel sorry for her. I want her to have a friend. But I wouldn’t want it to be me. She’s way too annoying. When Labor day weekend is over, I’ll tell Monica how I feel.”
“Me and Mandy biked down to velocity market. we ran in to tom who just said stupid things as usual. And we ran into Paul who just said nothing. You know boys are given so much more freedom than girls. I saw so many boys around and some of them I knew came from good families. We were the only girls. It’s unfair. Men like to be mean to girls and kill them. Not many women are that crooked so boys don’t have to worry as much. That makes me so mad! I can’t even start putting my anger into words. When I grow up I will be a mussle woman who is an elementary school teacher that writes books in there spare time. If anyone tries to steal my purse or kill me, I’ll just bash ‘em. If this notebook is every published I hope it will change the way people think. I bet that girls will get so fed up with being considered weak, they will all grow up and be mussle women like me. I wonder how much time it takes to grow that many mussles. Girl Power!”
I just found all of my meticulously numbered diaries from age 8 to 17 in a duffle bag in the basement! There’s some funny stuff so I’m going to start posting excerpts.
Age 10/Pikeville, Ky: “My notebook is very important to me. It is one of my best friends because I can tell it anything!” (I had just moved to a new school and clearly had no friends)
Age 10/Pikeville, Ky, title: If I were a grown up here’s what I would buy for 1 days food: shrimp cocktail 5.98$ cookie crisp 3.78$ Meledy mix 3.98$ Ranch vegetable dip 2.08$ Macaroni and cheese 35¢ cotton candy 99¢”
Age 10/Pikeville, Ky, title: Dream: “Last night I dreamed about a monster with no arms that had a keyboard in its room that it couldn’t play. It was very powerful and lived in a great cave. The monster was rolly polly with tiny leggs, a long neck, fins here and there, and a long tail. People would always ride it to make sure it didn’t hurt anybody. They had a funny little cart with a sun blocker over it. They sat on its back and held on to some reins. They let it go in it’s cave. the monster had many servants. One day I got the job of riding the monster. I let it out in its room and asked it if it could play its keyboard. The room was very small, It said no and I laughed because I wondered why the monster had a keyboard if it couldn’t play it. It got mad … This was a funny dream. I hope I have another good dream.”
Age 10/Pikeville, Ky, title: Janet Jackson: “It is not her fault the way her brother is! I hope Jimmy won’t ruin my reputation when I’m older. I like the clothes they wear on the Janet movie. She wears cloths like a Genie and doesn’t die her skin.”
Age 10/Pikeville, Ky, title: Jim: Jim has a bad case of hysterics. My sooky brother. Just because I beat him!”
That’s a pic of me at Catholic School. I’m the distracted overgrown kid in the vest.
Paris is Burning is the best You Tube documentary I’ve stumbled on in a while- It’s about the Ball culture for NYC’s gay and transgendered community in the 80’s. Willi Ninja’s vogueing is soooo goood.
I just had one of the most bizarre forays into acting! My friend Brent asked me to act in a couple scenes for a silent black and white movie he’s making for Nocturne. I had to pretend to be giving birth to a monster—a scene that was inspired by a scene in this Danish/Swedish silent film Haxan, where a witch gives birth to the devil’s offspring. I really wanted to do this scene because I’m absolutely terrified of birth (my mom’s an Ob/gyn- that may have something to do with it), and I’ve had several nightmares where I give birth to all sorts of demonic creatures: weird rabid animals, blonde-haired toddlers that are really evil incarnate—you know what what I mean. We must have terrorized the neighborhood, as we shot the whole thing in his back yard and I was screaming at the top of my lungs pretending to give birth (though why, I’m not sure, as the film is going to be silent—i guess it was all very method). My friend Kathleen was the monster, and she wore a vaselined-up paper-mache demon head with bug-like eyes, razor-sharp teeth, and a tiny squirmy unitard, while crawling out from under an old mangy chair. I’m excited/mildly terrified to see the finished product!
I hear some of the members of Pussy Riot fled Russian and are in hiding now—Please come stay with me!
What I’m listening to after five cups of coffee.